New low: just hacked my moms facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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