Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
