Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
