Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
