dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
