Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
