I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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