just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
