you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
