Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
