Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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