I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
