people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
