I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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