It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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