A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
try to milk me bitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
