i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
