i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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