Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
