you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
time to smoke my breakfast
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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