Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize