Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
