I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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