What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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