Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize