You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
