I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
