You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize