my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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