he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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