Kiss
Puke
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
