I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
