party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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