is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
