Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I didn't shave. On purpose
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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