This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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