had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
