Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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