i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
