In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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