making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
