I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
