I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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