I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
