youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
