i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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