hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
