I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you