Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves