u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial