White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.