oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.