I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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