Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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  (901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16
  Replies (16) Good night (2277) Bad night (2300)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5334) Bad night (1814)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (52822) Bad night (3645)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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  (210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s
  Replies (26) Good night (2280) Bad night (5370)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.

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  (601): Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit. http://tfl.nu/lbl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2639) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.

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  (610): hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level. http://tfl.nu/1yzt
  Replies (1) Good night (1051) Bad night (2173)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.

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  (805): OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine. http://tfl.nu/qt1j
  Replies (12) Good night (2740) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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  (248): I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume http://tfl.nu/d1bc
  Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.

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  (318): If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists. http://tfl.nu/cuic
  Replies (3) Good night (1670) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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  (970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry
  Replies (22) Good night (1223) Bad night (2481)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!

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  (618): Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT! http://tfl.nu/daki
  Replies (4) Good night (1838) Bad night (757)
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  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (396) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point

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  (408): What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point http://tfl.nu/9b7m
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.

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  (781): also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lhc0
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.

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  (231): Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP. http://tfl.nu/rqyr
  Replies (2) Good night (140) Bad night (421)

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