Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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  (816): His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court http://tfl.nu/ow7w
  Replies (4) Good night (784) Bad night (1351)
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  (661): View more from California

  So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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  (661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick" http://tfl.nu/zy8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1441) Bad night (548)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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  (718): We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun http://tfl.nu/cluc
  Replies (18) Good night (7849) Bad night (731)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You don't think I'm weird or immature right?

  (917): View more from New York City

  No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

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  (718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right? (917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets http://tfl.nu/6cpc
  Replies (40) Good night (4780) Bad night (4028)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4476) Bad night (1219)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.

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  (303): you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson. http://tfl.nu/oqx8
  Replies (10) Good night (3287) Bad night (729)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6088) Bad night (901)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.

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  (708): My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with. http://tfl.nu/rm3v
  Replies (15) Good night (2383) Bad night (769)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1515) Bad night (504)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

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  (857): Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests http://tfl.nu/5mbt
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?

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  (617): Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night? http://tfl.nu/bhmq
  Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (1149)
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  (818): View more from California

  Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

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  (818): Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest. http://tfl.nu/joqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.

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  (573): Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room. http://tfl.nu/y8jv
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.

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  (773): she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho. http://tfl.nu/fmz4
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  he was definitely tindering while i gave him head

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  (646): he was definitely tindering while i gave him head http://tfl.nu/dzhu
  Replies (2) Good night (95) Bad night (410)

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