Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

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  (559): I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great http://tfl.nu/r602
  Replies (5) Good night (2810) Bad night (465)
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  (916): View more from California

  i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord

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  (916): i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord http://tfl.nu/bi3f
  Replies (15) Good night (3873) Bad night (1231)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars

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  (561): Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars http://tfl.nu/5ijc
  Replies (12) Good night (6275) Bad night (924)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (839)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

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  (715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex
  Replies (19) Good night (1413) Bad night (733)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.

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  (201): I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world. (540): I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him. http://tfl.nu/0ulc
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (1654)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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  (801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq
  Replies (15) Good night (834) Bad night (2407)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.

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  (970): She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic. http://tfl.nu/fis2
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (369)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.

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  (920): hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4k38
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (404)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW

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  (417): THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/z4i2
  Replies (1) Good night (1061) Bad night (330)
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  (710): View more from

  It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.

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  (710): It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse. http://tfl.nu/ozwb
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (252)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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  (716): Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride http://tfl.nu/1rhf
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (204)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.

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  (443): You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober. http://tfl.nu/yspt
  Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (245)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank

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  (716): Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank http://tfl.nu/v8v3
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (230)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (302)

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