You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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