with your own penis?
At least make sure they are 18
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
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Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
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Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Damn victory sex feels great