Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

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  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2520) Bad night (623)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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  (212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663
  Replies (83) Good night (3544) Bad night (2788)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.

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  (703): I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU. http://tfl.nu/df85
  Replies (21) Good night (5025) Bad night (1176)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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  (513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo
  Replies (22) Good night (5322) Bad night (708)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

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  (314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w
  Replies (23) Good night (6883) Bad night (616)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.

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  (610): I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/zt1t
  Replies (10) Good night (1110) Bad night (2802)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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  (864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2
  Replies (15) Good night (656) Bad night (1926)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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  (417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor
  Replies (8) Good night (892) Bad night (1935)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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  (484): Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that. http://tfl.nu/p43x
  Replies (6) Good night (556) Bad night (2059)
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  (562): View more from California

  Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook

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  (562): Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook http://tfl.nu/7qsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1223) Bad night (352)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1559) Bad night (518)
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  (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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  (408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (394)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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  (202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?" http://tfl.nu/rw07
  Replies (6) Good night (291) Bad night (521)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.

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  (850): I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/h93q
  Replies (2) Good night (166) Bad night (464)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it

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  (519): but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it http://tfl.nu/i5c8
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (164)

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