I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
