Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
