Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
