in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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