Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
