sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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