her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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