Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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