In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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