yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize