I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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